Walking together or walking wounded alone

RECIPROCAL ROOTEDNESS IN OTHERS - Those spiritually formed in Christlikeness find the natural condition of life to be one of reciprocal rootedness in others. Stable, healthy living requires the assurance of others being for us. We are told in the earliest pages of the Bible that “it is not good that the man should be alone,” so God decided to make “a helper to be a match for him” (Genesis 2:18, PAR). 

Centuries later Paul pointed out that “not one of us lives unto himself and not one dies unto himself” (Romans 14:7, PAR). Human beings are really together only in God, and all other ways of “being with” fall short of the needs of basic human nature. If this assurance of others being for us is not there, we are but walking wounded. Our lives will more or less be in shambles until we die. 

Dealing with the spiritual formation of our social dimension begins with this woundedness. A child who is not adequately received in this world is likely to be incapable of giving and receiving love in decent human relationships for the rest of his life. He will be perpetually left out, if only in his imagination. And in this matter, imagination can have the force of reality. 

Severe wounds to our rootedness may also occur in later life. Various failures can bring rejection or detachment from parents and other significant figures. Unfaithfulness in a mate, divorce, failure in career advancement, disloyalty of children, or just never making it “in” may leave us disconnected from others. 

Lack of nourishment from deep connections with others means spiritual starvation in our every dimension. But if a child is totally received in his early years by his parents and siblings, he will likely have a rootedness about him that will enable him to withstand most forms of rejection that may come upon a human being. He will carry his solid relationships to and from his family members throughout life, being sustained by them even long after those loved ones are dead. He will receive a steady stream of rest and strength from them.