Pray, criticize, mock, attack, withdraw or grin at your "enemy"?

Perhaps you know someone who has a habit of being sarcastic or making a cutting remark or pointing out whatever is wrong about your clothing today. I have been that person.

Several years ago, I started this experiment: What if I were to pray for a person each time I criticized that person to someone else or even only in my mind? This had several effects. First, it slowed me down so much that criticism became a rather time-consuming chore.

In that slower mode, I saw that perhaps my criticism was inaccurate. In praying for the person, I experienced such repentance for what I said that I became miserable. I didn’t enjoy being with myself. 

So why not use the time spent in criticism praying for that person to begin with or even shifting my thoughts entirely—say, to thanking God for that wildflower popping up out of the crack in the sidewalk? 

TODAY’S EXPERIMENT - Pretend you’ve been hired as a “detective angel” to watch yourself and analyze your usual methods of attack and withdrawal. Your imaginary boss wants to know about X (you): 

-Does X usually attack or withdraw? Toward which people or sorts of people?
-What feelings within X are most likely to create the urge to attack or withdraw?
=When does X withdraw so X wants to appear too nice to attack?
=What are X’s preferred phrases of attack/withdrawal?
-Finally, what is at the root of X’s perceived need to attack or withdraw (fear, resentment, contempt, jealousy)? 

Make a preliminary report as best you can, promising to deliver more as the days go by. As you listen to your report, picture yourself in Psalm 23:5. You sit at a table uniquely prepared for you. Sitting across from you is an enemy or two (people who make life difficult), poised for attack (or withdrawal as their form of attack). Now picture God anointing your head with oil—signifying your special usefulness to him. Notice how your cup is always full so that you feel secure and you never look inadequate to that enemy. If you can do it, try to grin in blessing at your enemy instead of attacking.